• In Pennsylvania early voting started as much as 50 days before the election. The state likes the concept so much that they have decided to implement “early taxation”. From now on taxes will be withheld 50 days before the money is earned.

• Fifty more illegals were dropped off in front of the VP residence. Kamala decided to be hospitable and offered to make them breakfast. Only problem is she couldn’t figure out how to open the egg carton.