• Whew! For anyone who was concerned that Gavin Newsom would be the nominee and in so doing turn America into California, rest easy, its not him. But wait,…, Kamala Harris is from California, and she’s worse. Aaaaaggggghhhhh!!!!!
• Now Bernie Sanders is ticked off because Kamala Harris is being crowned the most liberal Senator.
• Plans are underway to put Biden on Mount Rushmore. They just need to decide what vegetable it will be.
• A new game is taking the video scene by storm. It’s called Zombie Leader and takes place exclusively within the White House, Camp David, and Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.
• Until June 27th who knew that the Democrat Party was a party of blind people.
• By most objective evaluations there are approximately 320 million Americans more qualified to be president than Kamala Harris.
• Guess we get to see what a president retired in place looks like.
• With Sloe Joe it’s no longer dead man walking. Now it’s dead man shuffling.
• Jill is willing to support Joe pulling out of the race on one condition; that she remains First Lady.
• Hunter is also willing to support Joe leaving the race on one condition; that he can change his name to Hunter Trump.
• Democrats are planning to propose a new amendment to the Constitution that would require future presidents to be no taller than 5’6”. The amendment would facilitate the ability of all Secret Service agents to properly shield the president in the event of a dire threat.
• If Biden leaves the reelection scene mumbling, bumbling, and stumbling will be replaced by giggling, snickering and cackling. Everything else will remain the same.
• Internal investigations within Biden’s administration are where objective, timely, conclusive evaluations go to die.
• Democrats are getting very restless about Old Joe staying in the race. The only question may be whether they decide to nominate a ham sandwich, a chicken nugget, or a breakfast burrito to take his place.
• Are you wondering why it’s so hard to get Old Joe out of the White House? Well consider what it took to get Commander out.
• Hunter told Old Joe he’s out after learning that he would have to answer the phone at 3 AM.
• The Founders did a great job creating this amazing country. But they missed something. They didn’t define a process for dealing with a situation where the sitting president forgets his name, the vice president can’t find the border, and the Cabinet is empty.
• In 2020 thousands of dead people voted for Biden. In 2024 thousands of live people plan to vote for a dead Biden.
• During a Fourth of July appearance at the White House Biden made a big deal about his perceived lack of traffic congestion (he doesn’t have to drive in it). Joe probably thinks Pothole Pete is doing a good job too.