• The Second Gentleman is now being touted as a sex symbol. Yikes!! If he’s now the male standard for the human race, we need birth control more than ever.
• Kamala Harris’ political beliefs were formed over the last 40 years of her life. It’s only taken 40 days for her to reverse all of them.
• With JFK’s endorsement of Trump he needs additional security. TO PROTECT HIM FROM HIS FAMILY!
• Are you feeling depressed? Have you lost your appetite? Do you find yourself looking for a high bridge? Isn’t the feeling of JOY wonderful?
• Kamala wants to do debates like Jean-Pierre does press briefings. READ THE ANSWERS FROM A BINDER!! And; if a question doesn’t fit any answers in the binder, just read something, maybe no one will notice.
• We’ve all heard the quip after someone comes back from vacation that they need a vacation to recuperate from their vacation. BIDEN IS ACTUALLY DOING IT!!!
• Not only is real estate in downtown San Francisco going for bargain basement prices because of disastrous state and city policies, some sellers are offering a bonus if the buyer agrees to clean the poop off the sidewalk.
• Homeland Security is in the process of procuring a 90 mile bridge. It will make it easier to get to Havana (soon to be the new US Capital) if Kamala is elected.
• So who is Nancy going to get rid of next? Francis, watch your back!
• The climate zealots have gone too far. Now they are pushing Chicago, Milwaukee, and Green Bay to “harden” their shorelines in case a hurricane develops on Lake Michigan.
• The DNC has invited Donald Trump to give a speech at the Democrat National Convention on Thursday night. They figure it will be simpler to have Trump describe his policies before Kamala takes the stage. That way they can reduce Kamala’s acceptance speech to one word; Ditto!
• All reporters in the Kamala Harris press pool are being offered 90 days of vacation since they have nothing to do until November 5th.
• The Second Gentlemen has decided to stop going to church until after the election so that someone in the Democrat Party won’t notice he’s a Jew.
• The Harris/Walz campaign is employing hundreds to review all of Kamala’s past statements and videos to make sure they don’t miss any needed flip-flops.
• Many people are calling for a change to International Olympic Committee rules that would require future members to take an IQ test. Their hope is that this would ensure that morons could no longer be elected to the committee.