• I hate:
o when I forget to remove the toothpicks from my eyes and I can’t blink,
o that my dog barks at the TV every time Nancy Pelosi comes on.
• More MyPillow news. Elon Musk to buy MyPillow. Elon was heard saying, “This is all about the pursuit of happiness. Happiness that comes from not having to listen to any more obnoxious Mike Lindell commercials.”
• Now Mike Lindell is peddling toilet paper. He calls it MyButtwipe.
• The World Health Organization declares monkeypox a global emergency. Great, the world needs a new reason to go hysterical!
• Today we saw a picture of the President in close proximity to his German Shepard, Commander. Thankfully Commander was wearing a mask.
• The White House claims the President is working 8 hours a day in spite of having COVID. Hmmm! So while he’s sick he’s destroying the country twice as fast as he normally does?
• When in Kalamazoo, beware of the poo.
• I hate:
o that to get to my yacht I’m forced to fly there in my private plane,
o that I can’t afford to pay my mortgage because I just bought a $65,000 electric car.
I hate;
o when my electric car is fully discharged and the closest charging station is 62 miles away,
o when it’s hot and humid for no other reason then it’s summer.
• There’s a faction of people in America who are touting the consumption of insects in lieu of meat. Hmmmm! Maybe that fly in your salad was not a mistake.
• According to Mike Lindell it took him a full two years to shred foam padding to create the MyPillow. That’s longer than it took the Biden Administration to attain a 30% approval rating.
• I hate:
o when I forget where I left my laptop,
o when I have to stay up till 12:01 am to dump my milk because it’s reached the expiration date,
o that I can’t remember what I said 5 seconds ago.
• After Nancy Pelosi’s frolic on the beach in Italy the Gruesome Twosome Dreadful Cleavage Society gave her an honorary membership.
• Border Patrol has updated their work standards. Agents will now be disciplined if they do not fist bump all illegals when they cross the border.
• Kamala’s latest word salad: “I sound like a dope because I‘m dopey and only dopey people can sound like dopes. I also act like a dope because dopey people do dopey things. Some may say it’s hard to sound and act so dopey, but for dopes like me it comes naturally. Then too, I’m not the only dope in this Administration. It starts with the “Big Dope” at the top and works its way down from there. Never have there been more dopey people in a Cabinet then there are right now. This should not be surprising because dopes beget dopes, and dopey leaders choose dopey followers. How else would we be doing such dopey things? As I said, dopey comes naturally to dopey people.”