• Little Johnny Miller was given a detention by his kindergarten teacher for not applying himself when he returned his art homework. Frustratingly she told him, “A two-year old could have done better.” But that wasn’t the half of it. She was even more upset when she found out that it was not his own work, but rather, something his father bought from some guy named Hunter.

• Death row inmates are being offered a reprieve; take a job on Kamala Harris’ staff. No takers so far!