• Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot has closed O’Hare Field to aviation until further notice. In her announcement of this unprecedented action she said, “Afterall, homeless people need their privacy too”.
• President Biden will finally be making a public statement about the derailment incident in East Palestine, Ohio. Insiders report that he will confirm in his statement that MAGA Republicans are responsible and their extremism threatens the very foundations of our railroads in America. He will say that Republicans were there fanning the flames of the fire, much like the mob at the Capitol on January 6th. He will also announce that extremist Republicans are holding Secretary Buttigieg hostage preventing him from going to East Palestine to determine if the track at the derailment site is racist like many of our highways. Lastly he will announce a mandate for residents of East Palestine to wear masks and ask that they be welcoming when government workers wearing HAZMAT suits knock on their front doors.