• Bob Menendez thought he had a bulldog nipping at his ankles. Turns out it’s John Fetterman.
• George Santos is bitter about being expelled from the House, particularly since at one point he was as close to becoming Speaker as anyone else in the House.
• We all know that the US Terrorist Watchlist is screwed up. But Taylor Swift?
• We no longer have to worry about being bombed back into the Dark Ages by nuclear war. The climate change zealots in Dubai are in the process of taking us there right now.
• King Charles thinks we have to spend $5 trillion a year worldwide to stem the tide of climate change. John Kerry, after a Himalayan salt sauna at the Dubai five-star resort where he is staying, proposed that Hunter Biden be put in charge of managing the funds. The Ukrainian representative agreed, noting that Hunter knows absolutely nothing about climate change, so he’s a perfect choice.
• “Sammy The Bull” Gravano thinks that the misdeeds of the Biden family are “treasonous.” Considering the penalty for treason it’s a good thing Sammy is retired!
• Now Biden claims he was in the Himalayas with Deng Xiaoping. If we give this claim a little more time to develop we’ll probably hear that he climbed Mount Everest while he was there. This from a man who can’t stay on his feet while ascending a stairway.
• We have a new means for population control. People are turning to TikTok for medical advice.
• Another potential Trump appointment; Joe Biden as ambassador to North Korea. Inhumane? Not really, old Joe won’t know where he is anyway.
• Wow, things have really gone south for Disney! Their stock has cratered, attendance at theme parks is way down, and their last four movies have collectively lost over a billion dollars. Can it get any worse? If they aren’t careful people will start pooping in line as they wait to get on rides.
• Food for Thought: Can anything be settled science if all associated dooms-day predictions never come to pass and in some cases the opposite occurs?
• Trump is already considering potential candidates for various appointments. Rosie O’Donnell is on his shortlist for Ambassador to Siberia.
• The White House is recruiting more people with brooms and barrels on wheels to follow the president around.
• Jennifer Granholm announces a new regulation to ban all gasoline-burning cars by 2025. As is usual, there are exceptions. In this case only one; 1967 green Corvette Stingrays.
• Biden turns 81. That now makes it 51 years since he’s had a real job.
• Border agents must now ask illegals what their pronouns are as they come across the border. This is a difficult task because most don’t know what a pronoun is.
• Word has come down from where ever mass murderers go, that Bin Laden is reveling in the fact that someone has finally read his “Letter to America”.
• Judge Arthur Engoron (presiding over the Trump NYC fraud case) wins the “Mick Jagger at 100 Look” contest.