• Our “Walter” look-alike president (see Jeff Dunham’s dummy) claims the doctors said he “looks too young.” Hmmmm! Either 75 million of us need to get our eyes checked or Biden’s doctor does.

• Man dies of old age at 27. He never did understand how that leap year thing worked.

• For the rest of the year, after a leap day, are we a day early or a day late?

• Google’s Gemini did not make it off the launch pad.

• Carnac’s back! Carnac predicts the answer to the question in the envelope is; Zero. And the question is (opening the sealed envelope); How many illegal immigrants will Biden see when he goes to the border at Brownsville?

• Venezuela is closing all its prisons. They no longer have any criminals left to incarcerate. Maduro tells Venezuelans that their good fortune is all due to the virtues of socialism.

• Due to business concerns as a result of the Trump fraud case decision owners of the Empire State Building are considering moving it to Florida.

• Hunter Biden’s lawyers are claiming that supposed lines of cocaine in some of Hunter’s pictures is actually sawdust. Gee, if that’s true how many thousands of people are currently in prison because they were snorting sawdust?

• Kamala says she knows where the Oval Office bathroom is so she’s “absolutely ready” to take over as president.

• Squatting has become a major problem in the US in recent years and such reprobates have a huge opportunity right now. The current occupant in the White House spends so little time there that squatters could move into the private residence and no one would know for weeks.

• The Russian death certificate indicates that Alexei Navalny’s cause of death was “borsch overdose”.

• Fani Willis has a huge stash of shoes. Not because she likes shoes, but because she needs the shoe boxes to put her cash in.

• Biden’s first words when he arrived in East Palestine; “I thought there was a war going on here.”

• No, Traitor Joe is not a food store chain!

• Good Old Boy Joe says watch me, and we are. Aren’t you getting tired of cringing? It’s getting to the point that Joe is starting to make 82 year-olds look bad.

• Patrick Mahomes was a little annoyed after the Chief’s Super Bowl win. All the networks were intent on interviewing Taylor Swift. To make matters worse, she was voted MVP.

• For Hillary it was about being prepared for a 3am call. For Biden it’s being prepared for a 1pm call except on days when a lid is called before noon.

• Would a mentally acute person be able to recognize someone who has mental acuity issues? Most certainly! What does that say about the 90% of Democrats that say they plan to vote for Biden?