• Kamala Harris has been tasked with energizing Democrat voters for the midterms. Democrat leaders are thrilled because they think some Republican voters will not be able to stop laughing in time to cast their votes.

• Scientists estimate that 20 quadrillion ants occupy the earth. That probably means at least a quadrillion inhabit the United States. Democrats are trying to figure out a way to get at least some of them registered to vote.

• Hillary’s new docuseries, “Gutsy” is so bad that 75 million “semi-fascists” just cancelled their Netflix subscriptions,

• Uh-oh, Senator Tammy Baldwin has tested positive for COVID. The bad news; her fellow backbenchers will be quarantining for 5 days. The good news; no one will even notice that they’re gone.

• More on my dog who decided he wanted to be a cat. He’s discovered that he hates fish! I’m also having a hard time getting him to stop digging holes in the litter box,

• The Biden Administration is finally starting some infrastructure projects. Examples include:
o $17 million to install chair lifts in all stairways of the Rayburn House Office Building in DC,
o $9.7 million for a new cosmetic surgery clinic in San Francisco,
o $41.2 million to build a beachfront palace in Hawaii for visiting retired presidents.

• Our crazy woke world has even pervaded the Animal Kingdom. The other day my dog came to me and said he wanted to be a cat. Now he’s up in a tree and can’t get down.

• From 2019 to the end of 2021 life expectancy in the United States declined from 79 to 76. Not good news for 77 year-olds!

• Inflation rose 8.3% in August as compared to 8.5% in July. I guess that means we had a -0.2% inflation rate in August, right Joe?,

• Pete Buttigieg plans to employ a fleet of electric golf carts to transport goods if the railroad workers go on strike.

• Kamala Harris saying the border is secure is like the White House expecting James Taylor to excite a crowd,

• Buttigieg says we have to stay ahead of climate change. Pete, how will we know if we are ahead or behind since climate change models can’t accurately predict global temperatures five minutes from now?

• Uh-oh! The note card that Biden painstakingly copied into the Queen Elizabeth condolence book at the British Embassy was the wrong one. Instead it was the note card intended for his appearance at a fundraiser later in the day. It’s doubtful that British Royalty will take kindly to the queen being referred to as a semi-fascist, backward looking, election denying, insurrectional, power mongering, violence loving threat to democracy.

• The manufacturer of Trumpy Bear is suing Biden for a violation of their copyright for him referring to his political enemies as “Trumpies”.

• Kamala says she never consumed a grape until she was in her 20’s in support of National Farm Workers boycotts. I guess wine doesn’t count!

• John Fetterman makes Joe Biden look like a mental giant. Or,…., is it the other way around? You choose.

• So now if you win the lottery you have three choices; annuity payments, a lump-sum, or payment of utility bills,

• The California legislature just passed a bill requiring the wind to blow when the temperature exceeds 85 degrees,

• From now on Biden rallies and speeches will be held in garages. How else can tens of people be made to look like a massive crowd?

• Limburger cheese flavored chewable vitamins are not going over well with the kids. Huh, can’t understand it! The mice in the lab tests loved em,

• The Russian Ambassador to the Ukraine just resigned. He was recently scheduled by the Kremlin for his annual medical exam on the sixth floor of a Moscow hospital. He’s not taking any chances!!