• After speaking at the UnidosUS conference in San Antonio where she made her infamous “breakfast tacos” comments, Jill Biden attended the Pork Raisers Association of America annual convention. She said she was honored to give the keynote speech to the “ham sandwiches” in attendance.

• President Biden is not shaking hands with the Israeli leadership as he touches down in Israel (COVID precautions they say). In lieu of that he’s giving them “Where am I”, “Who am I” and “Why am I here” blank stares.

• Hmmmm! Looks like Hunter has a new job; White House Greeter during Medal of Freedom ceremonies. Don’t worry; he was fully dressed!

• Hunter was at the White House celebrating the Fourth with “the Big Guy”. He was there about two hours. That seems to be a long time talking only about the weather.

• After Michael Moore’s July 4th tantrum, Kim Jung Um has invited him to North Korea. Kim has been looking for someone, who is rich due to capitalism, to make a movie about how much better it is living in North Korea.

• How can Sloe be so clueless on energy policy when he has an energy expert within his midst; Hunter where are you?

• Fed Chair Jerome Powell says the economy is “In Strong Shape”. Hmmmm! Guess Jerome learned economics at the same school as Janet Yellin.

HAPPY 246th BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!

• Little did we know that America had a climate change expert specializing in rising ocean levels residing on the Supreme Court; Elena Kagan. Elena also insists that the Founders meant to include climate change in the Constitution, but the last page of the original document was inadvertently left on the copy machine at Independence Hall.

• Turns out we did have a Russia, Russia, Russia problem; Hunter Biden’s choice of hookers. When Putin found out he was hopping mad and threatened to invade Ukraine.

• “The View” hosts blast the recent SCOTUS decision that Whoopi Goldberg cannot play or mimic a nun due to the Separation of Stupidity and Religion Clause. Sister Act will need to be recast and reshot.

• White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre says the southern border is closed. That’s like saying President Biden never talked to Hunter about his overseas business activities.

• More provisions in The Have Mercy on the Administration Act:

o $5,000 to submit a positive review on any episode of an Obama Netflix series,
o $25,000 for Tracy Abram’s 2021 MLB All-Star Game T-shirt (never worn),
o $10,000 to watch and listen to Nina Jankowicz’s Mary Poppins tunes about misinformation on TikTok.

• New positions have been added to the White House staff; Cue Card Specialists

• More provisions in the Have Mercy on the Administration Act:

o $10,000 to chauffer Paul Pelosi for a month,
o $500,000 to buy a Hunter Biden painting,
o $10,000 to have breakfast with Hillary Clinton (includes compensation for nausea and retching).

• On a day when oil executives were in town expecting an audience with the president to discuss ways to reduce gas prices Biden ops to attend a bike riding class. The six and seven year-old boys in the class were jealous of his Buzz Lightyear helmet.