• District Attorney Alvin Bragg ordered a SWAT team to a well-known deli in downtown Manhattan. Two ham sandwiches and a hot pastrami were taken into custody.
• What occupation has a 60% attendance rate? A Biden presidency.
• Who meets with their son’s business partners 80 times to talk about their kids and the weather? Vice-president Biden.
• Biden tells Irish leaders to go “lick the world”. What the heck! Now he thinks the world is an ice cream cone?
• Gavin Newsom trying to give Ron DeSantis advice is like Alec Baldwin giving a gun safety course.
• Yesterday it was announced that Chicago will host the 2024 Democrat Convention. Apparently the DNC and the Democrat power structure want the delegates (and America) to see in person the results of long-term Democrat policies.
• Bud Light is now Bud Flight!
• The Easter Bunny union is up in arms!! Yesterday, at the White House Egg Roll, Hunter was in charge of steering Biden away from reporters. The union claims that a precedent was set last year. Steering the president is now Easter Bunny work.
• But the question of the day is why was Hunter there? Is it possible that China was paying him to keep an eye on their egg roll?
• Huh! Before we know it Bud Light will be putting the smiling face of Rachel Levine on the side of their cans. Who’s next? Sam Brinton! Miller Lite never tasted so good!
• President Biden recently called King Charles to tell him that he would not be attending the upcoming coronation. The King being candid said, “That’s a bloody relief, since you weren’t on the invite list anyway”.
• The old saying used to go, “misery likes company”. After yesterday’s election in Chicago it should now be “Chicago likes misery”.
• French President Macron is planning a trip to Ukraine. He was heard behind the scenes requesting the trip so that he “could walk the streets in relative peace and quiet”.
• North Dakota is soon to become the most populous state in the union. If climate change is real, people in southern states will soon be flocking north to cool off.
• The meeting between Putin and Xi Jinping has suddenly become strained. Xi accused Putin of trying to poison him after serving him borscht for the first time.
• Kamala has a new assignment; to convince young voters to vote for Democrats. This could be her best assignment yet since she demonstrates an ability to conduct herself at their level of knowledge and maturity on almost a daily basis.