• It’s official! Greta Thunberg was born with a permanent scowl on her face.

• Is Steven Spielberg in Davos? John Kerry thinks he’s E.T.

• So Biden conducted his campaign out of his basement and now we find out he has been storing (hiding) “Top Secret” classified documents in various places in his home including the garage. Will anybody be surprised if a report comes out that they found his corvette car keys in the refrigerator?

• Has anybody noticed that Dr. Fauci and Pete Buttigieg look a lot alike? And that they are equally annoying?

• News Alert! “Top Secret” classified documents have just been found in Major’s doghouse,

• A reporter asked Kamala Harris about the Biden classified document fiasco. Her response; “Well…, that would be classified.” [cackle/cackle]. “But seriously what I know about this classified situation would be classified by some as classified because the information is classified and so what I think about it may be classified as classified and to divulge classified information would be classified as classified.”

• Biden’s attorneys have expanded their search for classified documents in his Delaware home. Shocker of all shockers! They found Hillary Clinton’s 33,000 lost emails in Jill’s underwear drawer,

• Fort Knox just issued a contract for construction of 200 “lockable” garages. In their announcement they said, “Since locked garages are good enough to store and protect classified documents, so they should be good enough for storing and protecting our gold.”

• A new definition of wishful thinking. Diane Feinstein, who hasn’t known what planet she’s on for at least a year now, says she hasn’t decided yet whether she will run for re-election.

• No need to worry. The classified documents in Bidens’s garage were extremely secure. The boxes were behind a stash of Hunter’s paintings.

• A candidate for the worst expenditure ever – renewing Jimmy Fallon’s contract. Thankfully it was only for $80 million dollars,

• Adam Schiff, Ilhan Omar, and Eric Swalwell not only find themselves thrown out of committee assignments, but also have their offices moved to an abandoned bus behind the Rayburn House Office Building.

• Huh! Running for governor must be really lucrative. Stacy Abrams says she’ll probably run for a third time…, and then probably a fourth time…, and then a fifth time,… Oh well, it’s a living!

• There was a past rumor floating around that the nuclear codes had been misplaced. Well what do you know! They just found them in a private office used by Biden when he was VP alongside a Russian receipt to Hunter Biden for “Fireworks”.

• What do you know! Appears we’ve stumbled onto the solution to our illegal immigration problem – send Biden to the crossing points. Want proof? Well…, while he was in El Paso yesterday there was not a single crossing observed nor a single illegal in sight. Voila, problem solved!

• So now illegals have an app to apply for amnesty (apparently apps are the solution to all our ills) as they travel to the US border. Easier said than done! How many cell towers do you see in the jungles of Guatemala or the jungles and deserts of Mexico?

• Hillary has a new gig at Columbia University. She will be teaching a course called “How to be Revolting, Deceiving, Nauseating, Off-putting, Uninspiring, and Whiney All at the Same Time”.

• Apparently Pope Emeritus Benedict requested that President Biden not be in attendance at his funeral. Huh! If anyone would be able to recognize a “devout” Catholic you’d think a past Pope would.

• Adam Kinzinger has joined CNN. How long will it be before Liz Cheney joins MSNBC?