• Yesterday John Fetterman was sworn in as a US Senator. By the look on his face it was hard to tell if he was just missing his hoodie or he just didn’t know why he was there in the first place.
• Today President Biden announced that he was going to visit the border. Don’t get too excited until we find out how the White House defines “border”.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
• Here are the D and B predictions for 2023:
o Adam Schiff will claim he has proof that the Declaration of Independence is Russian disinformation,
o Janet Yellen will actually make a correct prediction,
o Sam Bankman-Fried will be honored as the 2022 Entrepreneur of the Year,
o Kamala Harris will lose no more than ten staffers in the year,
o Nancy Pelosi will publicly tear up Trump’s tax returns,
o Joe Biden will get lost in the Rose Garden and not be heard from for three days,
o Tom Brady will get a 10-year contract extension,
o Secretary Mayorkas will declare the border closed in those areas where there is a Trump constructed barrier wall,
o AG Garland will appoint a special counsel to investigate whether Trump has been counting all his golf strokes,
o Jerry Nadler will lose his lifetime membership with Weight Watchers,
o Liz Cheney will announce her candidacy for Dog Catcher in Wilson, Wyoming,
o Bill Clinton’s laptop containing his favorite “Epstein Island” pictures will be discovered at the local Walgreen’s photo shop.
• After an in-depth investigation California has finally determined why traffic has gotten significantly more congested, in particular from the bigger cities. Too many U-Hauls going east!!
• Pete Buttigieg is never around for the battle. He only shows up after the fact to bayonet the wounded.
• That seals it! George Santos is a serial liar making him supremely qualified to be a Congressman.
• Time to play the D & B Guessing Game. This is a slimy creature that has a large mouth, slinks around in the muck waiting for unsuspecting prey, and attacks without provocation or warning. No, it’s not a moray eel. No, it’s not a crocodile. No sorry, it’s not a snakehead either (although you’re getting closer). Give up?…, you’re gonna hate yourself! Of course…, it’s Peter Strzok. Dah!
• The nation just came through one of the worst winter weather events (in terms of low temperatures and blizzard conditions) in history. Not a peep from the warming zealots! But forecasts suggest we are about to have a significant warm-up. Two bits says those same zealots will be out in force after they spend a day or two on the beach thawing out.
• In the last year Russian citizens (mainly tycoons and oligarchs) have had the highest incidence of falling out of open hospital or high-rise windows of anywhere in the world. Go figure! Do you think it could be bad vodka?
• Average life expectancy in the US is back to where it was 25 years ago. Huh! Does that mean that some of us old fogeys on average went from being alive to being dead?
• Will anybody be surprised if emails emerge between San Bankman-Fried and Hunter Biden?
• The border is being completely overrun. No, we’re not referring to the southern border; but rather, the Washington state border. This after word got out that the state of Washington will pay you up to $122,653 for not working.
• Sam Bankman-Fried used cryptocurrency to post his quarter-billion dollar bail. His payment is now worth $14.12.
• During his address at a joint meeting of Congress, Ukrainian President Zelensky presented a Ukrainian flag to Kamala and Nancy Pelosi which they exuberantly unfurled. After the speech Kamala was overheard thanking the President for the beautiful tablecloth.”
• Kamala is taking the media to task for, as she says, not covering the “strength of my leadership”. Could it be that they’re too busy reporting on her vast accomplishments?
• So the nation is facing a “polar vortex” and in some areas even a “bomb cyclone”. Whatever happened to the terms “cold snap” and “pretty strong winter storm”?
• The number is 234. No, it’s not the number of different ethnic lineages that Biden has espoused since he’s been president. It’s the sum of the ages of the Gruesome Threesome (Biden, Pelosi, and Schumer). Given that fact, can we pass a new law of common sense that the sum total of the ages of the three most powerful people in our government shall not keep pace with the number of notches on Hunter’s bedpost.