• Huh! Running for governor must be really lucrative. Stacy Abrams says she’ll probably run for a third time…, and then probably a fourth time…, and then a fifth time,… Oh well, it’s a living!
• There was a past rumor floating around that the nuclear codes had been misplaced. Well what do you know! They just found them in a private office used by Biden when he was VP alongside a Russian receipt to Hunter Biden for “Fireworks”.
• What do you know! Appears we’ve stumbled onto the solution to our illegal immigration problem – send Biden to the crossing points. Want proof? Well…, while he was in El Paso yesterday there was not a single crossing observed nor a single illegal in sight. Voila, problem solved!
• So now illegals have an app to apply for amnesty (apparently apps are the solution to all our ills) as they travel to the US border. Easier said than done! How many cell towers do you see in the jungles of Guatemala or the jungles and deserts of Mexico?
• Hillary has a new gig at Columbia University. She will be teaching a course called “How to be Revolting, Deceiving, Nauseating, Off-putting, Uninspiring, and Whiney All at the Same Time”.
• Apparently Pope Emeritus Benedict requested that President Biden not be in attendance at his funeral. Huh! If anyone would be able to recognize a “devout” Catholic you’d think a past Pope would.
• Adam Kinzinger has joined CNN. How long will it be before Liz Cheney joins MSNBC?
• Yesterday John Fetterman was sworn in as a US Senator. By the look on his face it was hard to tell if he was just missing his hoodie or he just didn’t know why he was there in the first place.
• Today President Biden announced that he was going to visit the border. Don’t get too excited until we find out how the White House defines “border”.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
• Here are the D and B predictions for 2023:
o Adam Schiff will claim he has proof that the Declaration of Independence is Russian disinformation,
o Janet Yellen will actually make a correct prediction,
o Sam Bankman-Fried will be honored as the 2022 Entrepreneur of the Year,
o Kamala Harris will lose no more than ten staffers in the year,
o Nancy Pelosi will publicly tear up Trump’s tax returns,
o Joe Biden will get lost in the Rose Garden and not be heard from for three days,
o Tom Brady will get a 10-year contract extension,
o Secretary Mayorkas will declare the border closed in those areas where there is a Trump constructed barrier wall,
o AG Garland will appoint a special counsel to investigate whether Trump has been counting all his golf strokes,
o Jerry Nadler will lose his lifetime membership with Weight Watchers,
o Liz Cheney will announce her candidacy for Dog Catcher in Wilson, Wyoming,
o Bill Clinton’s laptop containing his favorite “Epstein Island” pictures will be discovered at the local Walgreen’s photo shop.
• After an in-depth investigation California has finally determined why traffic has gotten significantly more congested, in particular from the bigger cities. Too many U-Hauls going east!!
• Pete Buttigieg is never around for the battle. He only shows up after the fact to bayonet the wounded.
• That seals it! George Santos is a serial liar making him supremely qualified to be a Congressman.
• Time to play the D & B Guessing Game. This is a slimy creature that has a large mouth, slinks around in the muck waiting for unsuspecting prey, and attacks without provocation or warning. No, it’s not a moray eel. No, it’s not a crocodile. No sorry, it’s not a snakehead either (although you’re getting closer). Give up?…, you’re gonna hate yourself! Of course…, it’s Peter Strzok. Dah!
• The nation just came through one of the worst winter weather events (in terms of low temperatures and blizzard conditions) in history. Not a peep from the warming zealots! But forecasts suggest we are about to have a significant warm-up. Two bits says those same zealots will be out in force after they spend a day or two on the beach thawing out.
• In the last year Russian citizens (mainly tycoons and oligarchs) have had the highest incidence of falling out of open hospital or high-rise windows of anywhere in the world. Go figure! Do you think it could be bad vodka?
• Average life expectancy in the US is back to where it was 25 years ago. Huh! Does that mean that some of us old fogeys on average went from being alive to being dead?
• Will anybody be surprised if emails emerge between San Bankman-Fried and Hunter Biden?