• In the most recent ceasefire negotiations Hamas is insisting that Gaza be made the 51st state. Biden is considering it.

• Clint Biden says he wants Trump to make his day by debating him, although with a ton of caveats. The only caveat he didn’t spell out was a requirement to tell the truth.

• It’s over for the prosecution! Stormy Daniels under oath testifies that she’s a virgin.

• Be forewarned that facial recognition technology can now accurately predict if you are a Democrat or a Republican. Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, and Mitt Romney have introduced a bill outlawing the technology.

• Hunter says he’s been defamed by Fox News because they published “intimate” images of him. Would it be unfair to say that this claim undoubtedly sends the meaning of intimate back to the stone ages?

• Biden finally came out and made a statement about the campus chaos; “Don’t”.

• If the 24/7 coverage of the campus protests continues, Latitia James and Fani Willis will have to join in if they want to get their faces back on TV.

• The pro-Hamas encampment at UCLA has set a Guinness World Record for the most rapid creation of a toxic waste dump.

• It used to be the Ivy League. Now it’s the Poison Ivy League.

• The country is suffering from a new ailment called Crawling Skin Syndrome. The good news is we know the cause; Kamala Harris.

• Biden supposedly told Howard Stern that he “would be happy to debate Trump”. Unfortunately it can’t be proven because nobody listens to the Howard Stern Show anymore.

• Now Biden has ticked off New Guinea. They are very upset at the suggestion that their cannibals will eat just anything that falls out of the sky.

• America is supposed to be a country that is opposed to inhumane and cruel punishment. Well, what could be more inhumane and cruel than “gagging” Donald Trump?

• It’s now a proven fact! Every baby born in America in the last 78 years was born with an opinion of Donald Trump programmed in their genes.

• Plagiarizer Joe is revolutionizing the practice of plagiarism. Not only has he been known to plagiarize the written word, now he’s plagiarizing actions. For example; Trump announces he’s going to the border, within hours Joe announces he’s going to the border. Trump goes to a fast food restaurant; two days later Joe goes to a convenience mart. Heck, if the pattern prevails, maybe some time soon Ole Joe will be appearing in court.

• During the Iraqi prime minister’s visit to DC Biden tells the prime minister that he grew up in the Iraqi section of Scranton, Pa.

• Behind the scenes it has come to light that Biden was annoyed by the Iranian attack. No, not because they did it, but because they did it when he was on vacation. In Tehran’s defense, to find a window in Biden’s schedule when he is not on vacation is tough.

• After Biden’s campaign rally in Scranton he was overhead saying to an aide, “Did you see the size and exuberance of that crowd today? They love me!!.” The aide responded. “Ah sir! Those were protestors.”

• There’s some question whether Chicago will be able to host the Democratic Convention. The Convention venue has been taken over by squatters.