• It used to be the Ivy League. Now it’s the Poison Ivy League.

• The country is suffering from a new ailment called Crawling Skin Syndrome. The good news is we know the cause; Kamala Harris.

• Biden supposedly told Howard Stern that he “would be happy to debate Trump”. Unfortunately it can’t be proven because nobody listens to the Howard Stern Show anymore.

• Now Biden has ticked off New Guinea. They are very upset at the suggestion that their cannibals will eat just anything that falls out of the sky.

• America is supposed to be a country that is opposed to inhumane and cruel punishment. Well, what could be more inhumane and cruel than “gagging” Donald Trump?

• It’s now a proven fact! Every baby born in America in the last 78 years was born with an opinion of Donald Trump programmed in their genes.

• Plagiarizer Joe is revolutionizing the practice of plagiarism. Not only has he been known to plagiarize the written word, now he’s plagiarizing actions. For example; Trump announces he’s going to the border, within hours Joe announces he’s going to the border. Trump goes to a fast food restaurant; two days later Joe goes to a convenience mart. Heck, if the pattern prevails, maybe some time soon Ole Joe will be appearing in court.

• During the Iraqi prime minister’s visit to DC Biden tells the prime minister that he grew up in the Iraqi section of Scranton, Pa.

• Behind the scenes it has come to light that Biden was annoyed by the Iranian attack. No, not because they did it, but because they did it when he was on vacation. In Tehran’s defense, to find a window in Biden’s schedule when he is not on vacation is tough.

• After Biden’s campaign rally in Scranton he was overhead saying to an aide, “Did you see the size and exuberance of that crowd today? They love me!!.” The aide responded. “Ah sir! Those were protestors.”

• There’s some question whether Chicago will be able to host the Democratic Convention. The Convention venue has been taken over by squatters.

• Mayorkas says the Terrorist Watch List has become unwieldy. He says there aren’t enough HHS and FBI resources to keep an eye on half the country.

• Democrats say donors at the Trump fund-raiser in Palm Beach were racists, scammers, and tax cheats. Huh? Why is the Biden family contributing to the Trump campaign?

• Protestors in Dearborn chant “Death to America.” Guess that rules out the possibility of them standing for the National Anthem.

• Newsom requires McDonalds to pay its employees $20/hr. so that you can pay $10 for a Big Mac. This, while his gourmet restaurant out on billionaires row in San Francisco pays $16/hr. Makes sense, after all he has to keep their $200 steak, $400 bottle of wine, $30 baked potato, and $45 tiramisu affordable.

• Letitia James is trying to take credit for the earthquake in New York City. Why not? She campaigned on shaking things up.

• Today is National Tell a Lie Day. Who knew that President Biden had a day set aside in his honor?